Here are a few poems from Goblin In The Fridge...
Tigers
Tonight Mum and Dad
are snarling at each other,
like two angry tigers
prowling round the kitchen.
Is it me
they're fighting over?
What have I done wrong?
Have I upset them?
They think I can't hear.
But my ears are sharp,
pricked like a young cub
up here, alone in my bedroom.
They don't tell me what's wrong.
But I can see life is not always easy
and I'm growing stronger and wiser
as I watch them.
Foolish old tigers.
I know it's tough.
But if they came up here
I'd purr and I'd lick them.
The Granny Power Rap
One fine day in the middle of a nap
A little voice said "You gotta write a rap"
Rap - that's cool - but I ain't no youth
So I better write a rap with my own kind of truth
Click clack click clack crackety crick
Do the Dodgy Shoulder, Do the Dodgy Hip
Click clack click clack crickety crack
You ain't gonna stop the Old Geezers Rap -
Cos when we feel good, we shout "Hwaaaa!
You ain't gonna stop - GRANNY POWER!"
So I tap me rap, aged forty-seven,
Sweet little age, close to heaven,
But inside - yea - still a young child -
Feeling frisky, risky, wicked and wild
And guess what, kids, it's fun over here
In my carpet slippers with a bottle of beer,
Ballroom dancing, foxtrot, tango
Home for telly and a nice cup of cocoa
Click clack click clack creekity cree
Do the Cup of Cocoa Do the Cup of Tea
Click clack click clack crickity crack
You ain't gonna stop the Old Geezers Rap
Cos when we feel good, we shout "Hwaaaa!
You ain't gonna stop - GRANNY POWER!"
When I run upstairs, I run out of breath
And at the top, there stands De-e-e-e-eath
But Death just says "You're too soon, babeeeeeee,
Come back later" and I say "Maybeeee"
Cos I'm too busy doing the stick - doing the hat -
Fighting fit, fighting fat, dodgy hip, dodgy back
But when we feel good, we shout "Hwaaaa!
You ain't gonna stop GRANNY POWER!"
Sky's Daughter
If you walk into mist a story begins
If you eat snow snowmen appear in your dreams
If you see a whale in a pond it’s time to wake up
Falling in streams brings you good luck
These are the laws of water, sky's daughter
If you watch a river too long you start to feel old
One cup of water is worth two buckets of gold
If you look at clouds long enough a dragon appears
Icicles don't grow on my grandfather's beard
These are the laws of water, sky's daughter
If you watch the wild sea you start to grow wise
If you leave a tap running a cactus plant cries
At the centre of whirlpools devils make plans
Goblins hide in watering-cans
These are the laws of water, sky's daughter
If you stand in puddles it will help you grow tall
If you watch the tides turn you sometimes feel small
Sleeping lakes dream of fish falling through air
Waterfalls are rivers washing their hair
These are the laws of water, sky's daughter
Pizza Pizza
O pizza pizza margherita,
My favourite, my fiery wheel,
O piece of pizza, can I eat yer,
Can I have you every meal?
Squelchy, spicy, chewy ring
Of tomato, cheese and creamy dough,
Golden honey-crusted heaven,
Warm sea of goo - I love you so!
Your glowing red and yellow sun
Melting, and I lick my lips
As you slide over the moon of my plate
Making a total eclipse!
So feast of pizza, peace of pizza,
Nothing beats yer inner glow,
When I meet yer, I must eat yer,
The thrill, the frill, the hill of dough.
Taste, the final frontier,
In my sky of pizza, look at this!
Planets of mushroom, pepper, pepperoni,
Extra toppings, extra bliss.
O pizza pizza margherita,
How I wonder what's for tea,
O stuffed crust in the sky above
I hope you're big enough for me.
The Language of Worms
Best done at night
when the world is asleep,
put your ear to the earth
and hear down in the deep -
schlewbaar
gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-ewba
oooompa-pa-pa-pa-paaaa
ssschl-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-luuuurr!!!
A Good Parent
She said “Well done, love”
and “That’s good” so often
she almost said it in her sleep.
“I just fell down the stairs, Mum.”
“Well done, love.”
“I just broke 2 fingers and my left arm, Mum.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m off to New York for the afternoon, Mum.”
“Well done, love.”
“When I grow up I’m going to rob a bank.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m thinking of giving you a bath in jelly, Mum.”
“Well done.”
I didn’t give her a bath in jelly.
I ate the jelly instead.
(I showed my Mum this poem.
Guess what she said.)
Thank You, Jack
When Claire said
"Jack's crying, Miss",
it was like a gust of wind
rustled the class.
Most of us looked.
We knew this feeling ourselves.
Too much, suddenly too much
rushing at us too fast.
"Thank you, Jack" said Miss,
who had once told us that tears
were like beautiful leaves
falling on grass.
Some turned their heads away.
Others watched Jack
as he cried on his own
till the wind blew past.